I am currently at the end of an extensive 2nd edit for a book written by a woman in America who was healed of stage 4 cancer. I’ve not been able to skim over the words of her story that travel so dangerously close to my past experiences with losing my mom. Admittedly, I found it a challenge at first to edit the book but knew I should take the project on. In an odd way, it has helped me heal from the loss of my mom in some parts of that journey.
Today, I pondered the loss of my mom in a different way. I suddenly remembered that, in the aftermath of my moms death, I had poured my heart out to God. I’d told him how tired I was of watching people not get healed when my very own great-grandpa had been famous internationally for laying hands on the sick and seeing them recover. He had tapped into see healing become normal while, up to that point, I had prayed for only a select few who’d experienced God’s healing power. I wanted desperately to see God’s power work in my life so I could touch those around me with His presence. My job as a follower of Jesus is to be certain that when others have left my presence, they've experienced Jesus.
That deep and meaningful conversation with Him was the gateway to seriously dreaming of going to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I realized that if I was ever to take back my inheritance and see the healing power of God working in and through my life, I would have to tap into it. I would have to learn how to re-open the well that had been stopped through the generations. When I finally did go, I met my husband. I can be assured that it was the only place I would have met him given our lifestyles, countries of birth and social circles. So, in a strange way, the loss of my mom awakened my heart to a passion which placed me in a new town where I was able to unstop the well of my family inheritance and begin a life with the man of my dreams. Could God have turned my heart toward going to the school without the loss of my mom? Certainly! Is it likely I would have gone? No. I was involved in an incredible ministry which would have continued had my mom not gotten ill. God always knows how to bring beauty out of desperate situations. He's just loving and smart like that.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Sneaking Destiny Isn't Required
I've been feeling the urge to write what is deep in my heart... to spill it out for others to gain from. I need to write.
I was born to do a lot of things (as were you) and one of the things I must do is write. When I was about 10 and home schooled, I did some family tree research and then I wrote and illustrated a few stories from my family history into children's books (which I still have). At 11 or 12, I remember begging my mom to give me assignments to write. It didn't matter the subject. At 13 - 14, I would go out on the farm and sit in the tractor tire swing and once or twice even used my napping horses back as a desk to write the novels I felt would burst out of me if I didn't get them penned. Wendy was a great listener of my stories. :-) At about 17, I was commissioned to co-author a curriculum for Jr. High public schools on anger management which I then also taught. I continued to research and write as one secretly hides their love of chocolate - sneaking it for fear of being caught and seeming to be out of balance. My peers often thought I was too serious (I was) and that I thought too deeply for my age (I still disagree). But I felt all I could do was be myself, even if I had to sneak it. If only I had known how good and right it was to be myself! How we all can need reminding of this at times! The truth is, we don't have to sneak the things we were destined for, we should be bold and proud of who God created us to be.
My parents never discouraged any giftings they saw in me. In fact, I remember the day when my mom said to me, "Rebekah, you were born to write." It was only a year before she got cancer. She told me I must do what I was called to. I am still learning the full picture of all God has for me. I'm sure you can relate to that at any age. At the time, I was writing a curriculum for teaching on the subject of sexual purity. I dont remember a time since I was old enough to write that I wasn't either writing something or trying to keep from bursting at the seams with something inside that I felt must be written.
I am currently writing a book. The first of which will not be curriculum or novel based. It's on restoring the credibility of the miraculous. I can assure you the writing process has enriched me a great deal and I am eager to share its pages with all who will partake. I have been in the process of writing and researching for this book since 2004! One doesn't publish a work on credibility until the information is certainly credible. Some things worth accomplishing in life simply take time to become great. Due to health issues I've been overcoming in the past few years, I have had to put writing aside for months at a time. A great tragedy to me you can be assured. I am aware my journey toward health is not complete but I feel better and better with each passing day. I am eager to begin writing again after a period of time away from my book. I believe it will be the last time I have to set it aside before it is published.
Do you know what you were born to do? I know one thing, God gave us desires and He loves to see His creation happy. What makes you happy? What makes you feel you could burst with joy? What do you ache to do if you've not done it for a while? Nothing coming to mind? Maybe its time to dig up your childhood and remember what made you tick as a child. We are all on a journey to discover all God created us for and as we discover those things, I believe we have a responsibility to be and do what we are created for. We're not called to feel discouraged or miserable or unsuccessful - simply to be the best "me" possible. There is only one of you in the whole world and if you aren't you to your fullest potential, history will be lesser for it. I pray you are full of joy and courage in this new year to fill your time with the things that give you life and life more abundantly.
I was born to do a lot of things (as were you) and one of the things I must do is write. When I was about 10 and home schooled, I did some family tree research and then I wrote and illustrated a few stories from my family history into children's books (which I still have). At 11 or 12, I remember begging my mom to give me assignments to write. It didn't matter the subject. At 13 - 14, I would go out on the farm and sit in the tractor tire swing and once or twice even used my napping horses back as a desk to write the novels I felt would burst out of me if I didn't get them penned. Wendy was a great listener of my stories. :-) At about 17, I was commissioned to co-author a curriculum for Jr. High public schools on anger management which I then also taught. I continued to research and write as one secretly hides their love of chocolate - sneaking it for fear of being caught and seeming to be out of balance. My peers often thought I was too serious (I was) and that I thought too deeply for my age (I still disagree). But I felt all I could do was be myself, even if I had to sneak it. If only I had known how good and right it was to be myself! How we all can need reminding of this at times! The truth is, we don't have to sneak the things we were destined for, we should be bold and proud of who God created us to be.
My parents never discouraged any giftings they saw in me. In fact, I remember the day when my mom said to me, "Rebekah, you were born to write." It was only a year before she got cancer. She told me I must do what I was called to. I am still learning the full picture of all God has for me. I'm sure you can relate to that at any age. At the time, I was writing a curriculum for teaching on the subject of sexual purity. I dont remember a time since I was old enough to write that I wasn't either writing something or trying to keep from bursting at the seams with something inside that I felt must be written.
I am currently writing a book. The first of which will not be curriculum or novel based. It's on restoring the credibility of the miraculous. I can assure you the writing process has enriched me a great deal and I am eager to share its pages with all who will partake. I have been in the process of writing and researching for this book since 2004! One doesn't publish a work on credibility until the information is certainly credible. Some things worth accomplishing in life simply take time to become great. Due to health issues I've been overcoming in the past few years, I have had to put writing aside for months at a time. A great tragedy to me you can be assured. I am aware my journey toward health is not complete but I feel better and better with each passing day. I am eager to begin writing again after a period of time away from my book. I believe it will be the last time I have to set it aside before it is published.
Do you know what you were born to do? I know one thing, God gave us desires and He loves to see His creation happy. What makes you happy? What makes you feel you could burst with joy? What do you ache to do if you've not done it for a while? Nothing coming to mind? Maybe its time to dig up your childhood and remember what made you tick as a child. We are all on a journey to discover all God created us for and as we discover those things, I believe we have a responsibility to be and do what we are created for. We're not called to feel discouraged or miserable or unsuccessful - simply to be the best "me" possible. There is only one of you in the whole world and if you aren't you to your fullest potential, history will be lesser for it. I pray you are full of joy and courage in this new year to fill your time with the things that give you life and life more abundantly.
| Reactions: |
Friday, October 7, 2011
Winds of Change
Transparency, honesty, vulnerability... those are words I'd use to discribe what I'm about to share. God has been fostering some things in my life for a long season and I want to tell you about it. I hope it ministers to you while I feel it necessary to be open with you, my friends.
Much of my life I enjoyed stability and change was only ever a positive thing. That radically changed in 2004 when we learned my mom had cancer and then lived with that reality while she suffered. That Fall I walked in to a church meeting in full swing and was prophesied over... "Winds of Change, Winds of Change are going to blow on your life" she declared. The next year, (2005) my mom passed away and I went to Uganda which showed me so much about Gods love. In 2006 I went to ministry school which changed how I view life tremendously. When I thought the winds had already blown me a record storm, the BIG life changes began in 2007.
I got engaged, moved to England and married my loving, Welsh Englishman (Dan). I started a brand new life in many ways. A few boxes, two bags and 25 years of memories all arrived in England with me. We had a wedding in a setting that American girls usually only dream of, (see wedding album on facebook).
I had hopes to leave behind a challenging season and start fresh. Perhaps the start was fresher than I was prepared for! I was surprised at how different the culture really was! I suddenly had a new language and totally different road style/system to learn, varying accents to understand and how to make friends the "British" way, (aka, understanding the centuries old rules of social interaction here); and wow... metric measuring to learn to convert from imperial and use regularly in the kitchen! (Math was my weakest subject, need I say more...) Culture shock was honestly deep and overwhelming for me. Meanwhile I lived with my hot water bottle to stay warm the first year. lol I'm not kidding...
About six months after moving to England, a trusted and internationally recognized minister prophesied over Dan and I. He beat Dan's chest repeatedly declaring, "Winds of Change, Winds of Change will blow on your life...". It sounded great and intriguing. Yet, I wondered, could I take any more change if it happened suddenly? I felt overwhelmed. Within weeks we'd gone from settling somewhere to having packed and moved 9 hours south in a 72 hour period. The wind was fast! Yet, grace abounded. It seemed to blow us in different locations until months later we settled where we've lived the last 3 years in Southwest England. We took a while to understand if the stay would last but it has thankfully. Life continued to be eventful yet we had the joy of being based in one location.
At the end of last year, I took a trip to Portland, Oregon (USA) to spend time with family and friends I'd not seen in years. I arrived with shingles and left with a bruised rib. lol Everything in between did my heart so much good. I spent my first 18 years in Portland and love those people dearly. I came home and we recognized my health had been pushed hard for years and try as I had, answers evaded us. We finally found a specialist in April who tested extensively and got the answers we needed. While we'd already chosen to have a year of rest from ministry, the doctors urged I make urgent changes to my life until further notice. Its a season to hang my hat and pretend I'm living on vacation. Some say they wish it was demanded of them to have my season of rest. Ha! Not with the health I must beat my friend! Stay as you are and love your life if it is full of health and joy. Meanwhile, I'll do an art project and watch a good movie in your honor. :-)
And so, the Winds of Change have blown me to a new country, language, lifestyle and understandings of life itself. I feel full of understanding for issues I had no care to learn about before and rich with wisdom I lacked only just 5 years ago. I am certain the pain of change has been great. My dad always told me only babies like change, (when dirty!). How true in my life as an adult. Yet, the process that caused the pain has gained me a great deal of richness life did not offer me until now. I am abundantly grateful and willing to embrace further changes as the seasons of life bring me in the years to come. It has been a process to come to that place but I am there and clinging to the choice to embrace today.
I do miss my mom, but life still carries joys without her. I do miss America, but living in England is a priceless and wonderful treasure I must enjoy. I struggle to convert my favorite American recipes at times yet I've learned so much about cooking that only living in Europe has offered me. I think that truly, breakthrough lies in the simplest lesson I've recently had all around me. When life moves on, we must move on with it. It is a great tragedy to long for yesterday and all its joys thus miss the greater joy on offer today and tomorrow. Wherever change may blow you, I hope you embrace the wind and enjoy the ride.
Much of my life I enjoyed stability and change was only ever a positive thing. That radically changed in 2004 when we learned my mom had cancer and then lived with that reality while she suffered. That Fall I walked in to a church meeting in full swing and was prophesied over... "Winds of Change, Winds of Change are going to blow on your life" she declared. The next year, (2005) my mom passed away and I went to Uganda which showed me so much about Gods love. In 2006 I went to ministry school which changed how I view life tremendously. When I thought the winds had already blown me a record storm, the BIG life changes began in 2007.
I got engaged, moved to England and married my loving, Welsh Englishman (Dan). I started a brand new life in many ways. A few boxes, two bags and 25 years of memories all arrived in England with me. We had a wedding in a setting that American girls usually only dream of, (see wedding album on facebook).
I had hopes to leave behind a challenging season and start fresh. Perhaps the start was fresher than I was prepared for! I was surprised at how different the culture really was! I suddenly had a new language and totally different road style/system to learn, varying accents to understand and how to make friends the "British" way, (aka, understanding the centuries old rules of social interaction here); and wow... metric measuring to learn to convert from imperial and use regularly in the kitchen! (Math was my weakest subject, need I say more...) Culture shock was honestly deep and overwhelming for me. Meanwhile I lived with my hot water bottle to stay warm the first year. lol I'm not kidding...
About six months after moving to England, a trusted and internationally recognized minister prophesied over Dan and I. He beat Dan's chest repeatedly declaring, "Winds of Change, Winds of Change will blow on your life...". It sounded great and intriguing. Yet, I wondered, could I take any more change if it happened suddenly? I felt overwhelmed. Within weeks we'd gone from settling somewhere to having packed and moved 9 hours south in a 72 hour period. The wind was fast! Yet, grace abounded. It seemed to blow us in different locations until months later we settled where we've lived the last 3 years in Southwest England. We took a while to understand if the stay would last but it has thankfully. Life continued to be eventful yet we had the joy of being based in one location.
At the end of last year, I took a trip to Portland, Oregon (USA) to spend time with family and friends I'd not seen in years. I arrived with shingles and left with a bruised rib. lol Everything in between did my heart so much good. I spent my first 18 years in Portland and love those people dearly. I came home and we recognized my health had been pushed hard for years and try as I had, answers evaded us. We finally found a specialist in April who tested extensively and got the answers we needed. While we'd already chosen to have a year of rest from ministry, the doctors urged I make urgent changes to my life until further notice. Its a season to hang my hat and pretend I'm living on vacation. Some say they wish it was demanded of them to have my season of rest. Ha! Not with the health I must beat my friend! Stay as you are and love your life if it is full of health and joy. Meanwhile, I'll do an art project and watch a good movie in your honor. :-)
And so, the Winds of Change have blown me to a new country, language, lifestyle and understandings of life itself. I feel full of understanding for issues I had no care to learn about before and rich with wisdom I lacked only just 5 years ago. I am certain the pain of change has been great. My dad always told me only babies like change, (when dirty!). How true in my life as an adult. Yet, the process that caused the pain has gained me a great deal of richness life did not offer me until now. I am abundantly grateful and willing to embrace further changes as the seasons of life bring me in the years to come. It has been a process to come to that place but I am there and clinging to the choice to embrace today.
I do miss my mom, but life still carries joys without her. I do miss America, but living in England is a priceless and wonderful treasure I must enjoy. I struggle to convert my favorite American recipes at times yet I've learned so much about cooking that only living in Europe has offered me. I think that truly, breakthrough lies in the simplest lesson I've recently had all around me. When life moves on, we must move on with it. It is a great tragedy to long for yesterday and all its joys thus miss the greater joy on offer today and tomorrow. Wherever change may blow you, I hope you embrace the wind and enjoy the ride.
| Reactions: |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)